two of a kind

my best friend was doing the 16k run when she spotted a guy at a corner bar near sunflower city. she heard someone call her by her full name, and when she turned, she saw me. so she waved and smiled, and i smiled back.

this was according to her when she called me to confirm.

apparently, i have a doppelganger.

i think this is the first time a close friend has told me about my 'twin'. although i have heard from various people that they have already met me somewhere, i usually do not recall meeting them until that time. i've always been in the impression that i have one of those common faces, so people tend to believe we've met before when we haven't.

i would like to meet this guy. to see how alike, or not, we are. if it weren't for my best friend being so staunchly sure that he did look like me, i wouldn't have been curious.

but according to her, we do look alike. same build, same shaved head, same skin color, same thick eyebrows.

maybe one of these days we would meet.

that should be interesting, to say the least.

but wait. isn't meeting a doppelganger risky?

teenage love affair

while aboard a jeepney, a gaggle of giggling, barely-legal girls in skintight short shorts got on with a couple of older ladies.

it was obvious they just came from an internet cafe.

girl1: it was fun!
lady1: yeah, you liked it?
girl1 and girl2 (chorus): yes!
lady1: you want him for a boyfriend? i can give him to you instead of girl 4.
girl3: i want one too! i've never had one before!
lady2: yes, but we'll have to find another one for you, he thought you were too young.
lady1: yes, he'll have a problem with visa, that's what he said.
girl1: the guy was strange.
girl2: that's what happens when the guy is old.
girl4: i don't want to live in the states. i want japanese men! they seem rich.
lady2: japanese men are difficult. they require a meet up before you marry.
lady1: yes, unlike americans. they can process everything even before you meet.

my stop came and i left the girls while they argued on who's getting the next international vict - er, i meant, man.

and here i thought romance was dead.

you had me

1 missed call.

i checked the number.

hm, strange.

it's not saved.

i sent a text message.

"hi, who are you?"

the phone rang within a few seconds, same number.

i answered with "hello."

"trey?"

"yes?"

"i miss you."

before i could ask who he was, he had hung up.

i still haven't found what i've been looking for

since i was nearing bankruptcy, i tried applying as a technical writer for a multinational company.

there were three of us that day.
two girls, a guy, and an it park.

when we finished, the three of us made small talk.
one of the girls worked as a call center agent, and the other one resigned from one.
the current call girl was telling us all about her account and such, how the salary was big, that the company was good.

and the inevitable question came.

"why don't you apply as an agent?"
"wait, why are you here if you love your work?"
she blinked.
"um, i just wanted to check it out. i don't even know what this company does."

then she went on a dialogue that it's the money, the opportunity, the learning, the challenge.
i doubt if it was for our benefit.
i think she was still trying to convince herself.
i could tell from her eyes.
i began tuning her out.

"so, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?"
the question jerked me back to reality.
i was about to tell her that a true lady never reveals her age, but i decided to be nice.
"how old do you think i am?"
they both guessed wrong, and of course, i took it as a compliment.

the call girl, it turned out, was near mid 20's.
oh my god. i was shocked.
i could've mistaken her for late 20's to early 30's.
thank god i didn't say that night shift work gives me a haggard and wizened countenance.
well, in my case, it was more like haggard and bloated. (lol)

if i get that job, i think it'd be interesting.
sounds like a routine, non-challenging, low pressure day job. perfect!
plus, there was that cute engineer guy who kept looking over at me.
too bad he was always with his friends.

all we could do was stare at each other.

please don't stop the music

"he wants to do a threesome with you both."

macky the messenger slurred out the words to me and b.

the words, like the cold air outside, hit me.

i grinned.

three hours earlier:

it was b's second vacation night.

bubz, b, and i were at the bar.

normally restrained, i had become b's accomplice on the dancefloor.

writhing, grinding, pulsating to the thumpa-thumpa.

and that's how we had gotten the attention of a few guys.

our twosome became three, four, five.

it was just a little too crowded for my taste, so i moved to the side to watch the show.

b was quite the belle of the ball.

belts coming undone, jeans getting unzipped, hands exploring inside, lips touching skin.

the girl beside me craned her neck to look at what was going on.

bubz and i looked at b in the middle of it all and we grinned.

"to celibacy!"

b finally came up for air, took a look around, and decided it was time to leave his playground.

that's when macky the messenger caught up with us and gave us the message.

"he" was the guy b had been dancing with.

i held macky by the shoulders and looked at him in the eyes.

"tell him i'm flattered, but not tonight."

macky turned to b. i didn't hear b's reply, but i could guess as much as macky stormed off.

and that's how bubz, b, and i left doce.

la-la-lies

i'm a straight tripper, looking to hook up with other straight trippers only.

i'm bisexual and curious.

i'm very discreet and extremely straight acting.

i got a gym-toned body, lean and sexy.

i'm 5'8 tall, fair, and cute.

i'm sexy, fit, and hung.

i'm a pure top, but i can bottom for the right guy.

i'm not gay; i just never had sex with a girl because i believe marital sex is sacred.

***

which ones have you used?

and which ones have been used on you?

the battle of the oc's

i don't know if to cry or to be brave.

work has never been more challenging. meetings take hours to start. and to think this is my fourth day. it's difficult to work in an unstructured and fluid environment. such a new situation for someone who craves limits and scopes like me.

on the other hand, the project is a big one. it helps a lot of people get empowered. helps society. i hope it does. it seems promising. but there are still doubts. there is something off. i can't pinpoint it. but there is.

and if only the people involved would be a bit... time-conscious. no, that's not the word. or maybe it is.

i think i shall go crazy eventually if this keeps up.

according to rona, i baptized someone with my acid tongue.

i was slightly cranky from lack of sleep. sleep debt is now 8 hours from last week. yes, dear reader. i count my sleep debt. and a chirpy over 30-year old woman i was just introduced to plunked down beside me and proceeds to dull my ears with inane chatter. and managed to finagle my phone from my hands and play with it.

trey loves order.

trey loves to help.

but trey can't have both at the same time.

what would trey do?

sexy, silly, scary

scary:
saturday, 1:30 am

i am home, breathless, panting, sweaty. my nerves are shot. i have just lost my stalker.

i saw him in the corner of my eye as i left chowking colon. he was gay. thin. dyed blond. slightly effeminate.

i did not pay any attention when he started to follow me on my way home. i glanced back to check for oncoming cars. that's when i saw him. walking purposely, staring at me.

i quickened my pace. turned another block. i looked over my shoulder. he was still there. i made a plan. i would go past the side streets and turn around a corner, and then run to the next corner and walk the other way. and it worked. to my big relief.

fyi cruisers and dear readers:
this is not how you cruise a guy. it should be obvious that if the guy is walking quickly, he is just not that into you.

silly:
saturday, 12:45 am

i just left mt. i'm hungry. oops. my favorite chicken place is closed. i go somewhere else.

i am enjoying a hot, spicy noodle concoction from chowking when my concentration is interrupted by the voice of an articulate woman, by herself, announcing without pause:

"i am wonderwoman. i'm on the top of the world looking, down on... yes your honor. the litigation process is under way. jose rizal. mandaue. cinema. oh, it cuts like a knife... how many woodchucks make wood and c is for the candy cane around the christmas tree... i'm telling you that the deal is impossible to make because you can hold me close, let your love surround me, bring me near, draw me to your side..."

it continued for almost 30 minutes, much to the giggling of the 3 employees and 5 customers.

and senility became a topic between che, the super nice and thoughtful night manager, and me. soon after, the deranged dame quieted down, and several customers came in. i thought it was time to leave, as i had already been entertained quite enough. little did i think that i would be in a suspense clip in a few minutes.

sexy:
friday, 11:00 pm

met mt for updates, chika lang. he still has a very impressive body. rock-hard, solid muscles. we ended up in the shower.

he loves the mango body scrub. so do i.

of phobias and promises

i admit it. i have a fear of dentists. and heights. and drowning.

dentists, because the first dentist i knew put his whole hand in my mouth, sans the gloves. i could taste the disinfectant. and he had a tendency to smack his assistant on the ass. to his credit, many of today's dentists admire his skill. may his soul rest in peace.

i think i am beginning to recover from dentists. finally had a good dentist. we were introduced a long time ago, but i never did go see him. because i was scared and lazy.

i've always been scared of heights. i get weak in the knees. and not in a good way. i remember going to this building in manila. they found me sprawled on the floor - freaking out - when i got a view from the floor-length glass wall. which faced directly down to the traffic. 30 stories below. or the cable cars in ocean park. with the glass bottom. hanging on a ravine. rocking to and fro because of the high winds. i am gripping the keyboard as i type.

recent solution to fear of heights and drowning: parasailing.

and who doesn't have a fear of drowning? i went scuba-diving one time. below 20 feet. heart pounding furiously. suspended in sea water. neither treading or swimming. merely floating. but it was the sea creatures that made me forget my fear. fish-feeding in a marine sanctuary was definitely fun, and such a great situation to confront my fear.

it sure feels great to face fears.

old age. hurt. loneliness. emptiness. sadness. just some of my other fears. it feels good to list them down. because i don't want them to dwell in me. someone told me once that to list things down is a way to let them go. to free one's mind and soul.

i strive to let go. and i see them off not with resentment, but with gratefulness. because i have learned to accept them and free them. life is meant to live with joy.

i commit to find joy wherever and whenever i am.