dexter's lab 3

we were almost inseparable at work, dexter and i.
i was thrilled whenever i teased him by touching him inappropriately.
his stubbled jawline, his broad chest, and his bubble butt were not immune to my inquisitive hands.

i wrestled with the idea of kissing him.
the angel in me won out easily.

i was young. i had experienced the joy of just recently.
i wasn't ready to have an office affair.
i wasn't ready to have it with a married man.
i wasn't emotionally ready.

i was afraid.

and so nothing happened.

fast forward to present year.

i am enjoying an overrated and overpriced frozen coffee drink, with friends.
bubz got me reminiscing as he brought up the topic of the one who got away.
of seemingly straight men who are curious.

i was reminded of dexter.

i told b about dexter in a spate of innane chatter revolving around relationships.

what would i have done differently?
would i have gone for it?
did i regret not acting on it?

i would like to say i regret it.
but knowing me then, i don't really regret it.
the affair would've been messy. or at least it would've messed me up.
and i wouldn't have liked it.

i do regret not pursuing him the moment i left the company though.

i did try to look for him though. old colleagues, the phone directory, even online.

a chance search on friendster produced a result.

upon closer look, it was obvious it was his wife who made his profile.

i learned that dexter was in dubai, due to arrive this yearend.

and to answer b's question, yes, i would go for it this time.