going gaga for lady gaga

oh my effing god.

lady gaga's paparazzi video is out now.

i've had this song in my head for forever!

and the video does not disappoint!

thank you GOD!

heal the world

i've recently succumbed to one of the most dreaded addictions ever: gardening.

situated in the city, i don't even know why i pursued gardening in the first place. i hardly have direct sunlight, much less any ground to nest my plants in. so i opted to buy pots, pots, and pots. i do have several old world plants with me at the moment: sampaguita, rosal, gumamela, sanseviera, ground orchids, a yet-to-be-identified jasmine-like plant, and forget-me-nots.

maybe it is because there isn't any flora around that drove me to seek out planting these wonderful greens around. plus, i've always loved plants and trees and flowers ever since i was a child. i remember growing up in the then suburban area of pardo with a caimito tree, several tambis trees of different colors, the local bayabas (with the deliciously soft and sweet pink flesh) shrub, and even a cacao tree. we also had calamansi, chinese jasmine, tiger lilies, the ever-reliable santan, san francisco shrubs, african daisies, rosal, vanda orchids, and of course, the sampaguita. just the memories alone make me smile, when i ate tambis every summer.

i now realize how fortunate i was to live in such wonderful greenery at that time. so now, i attempt to recreate the spirit of my childhood. i shudder to think that this may be my mid-life crisis. lol!

currently, i have this plant i'm having problem identifying though. it starts out with a five-leaf cluster, and then some of these five-leaf cluster become six, seven, eight, or even nine leaves on one cluster. everyone says this plant is a lucky one because of this effect. so whoever knows the true name of this plant, i'd really appreciate it.

i am still awaiting several other plants to come in: chinese bamboo, money tree, and tuberoses. and maybe the ylang-ylang. will experiment with lavender and mint too. i wonder how they'll grow in a semi-shade environment that is my terrace. i'll have to see.

yes, i have a small little terrace in my place, which i later plan to make my little getaway. even though it is very near the hot exhaust and grumbling noise of several split airconditioners. lol!

plus, with some greenery around me, at least i'll be reducing some carbon footprint. even if that footprint turns out to be a little toe print. at least, there's a print. lol!

all the grayness and the mechanical noises around me in this concrete jungle of the city can make me a little too tense.

thank god for plants!

a promise i make to thee

When I'm feeling like there's no love coming to me...

And I have no love to give...

When I'm feeling separated from the world...

And cut off from myself...

When I'm feeling annoyed by every little thing...

Because I'm not getting what I want...

I'll remember that there is an infinite amount of love available to me.

And I'll see it in you.

I'll remember that I am complete within myself...

So I'll never have to look to you to complete me.

And most of all, I'll remember that everything I really need I already have, and whatever I don't have will come to me when I'm ready to receive it.

a different kind of love song

sometimes, it takes a view from afar to closely appreciate what you have in life.

it could be a cousin's failing studies.

it could be a friend's household concerns.

it could be a lover's financial conditions.

it could be realizing that youth is slowly, slowly strolling by.

i've realized i've been blessed with what i can deal with.
nothing less, nothing more.

i know that what i have right now, are what i need at the moment.

and what i will need in the future, will come to me when it is right.

a different sunday

i woke up very early today.
i haven't had much sleep, yet i don't feel tired.
strange.

it must be from that fantastic massage i had last night.

definitely worth the trip.

i must go back soon.

*smile*

it's mother's day.
my mom passed away 11 years ago.

we were not very close, she and i.
it was a very complicated relationship.
although, i must admit, i inherited many of her characteristics - both good and bad.

i received a message from captain.
his mother has been admitted to the hospital.
again.

in a decidedly uncharacteristic act, i told him i would light a candle for his mom's health.
and even stranger, i did.
at cebu cathedral.
along with a candlelit prayer for my mom as well.

am i liking him too much?
will i end up getting hurt?
most likely yes to both.

but life's too short to be restrained.