noel, noel, noel

let's call him noel. i don't know what his real name is. it was a case of mistaken identity, and i tried noel for the first time per bubz's suggestion. and honestly, i was curious too. i mean, i want to try who is good and bad at wholesome massage.

noel is good at soft massage. quite good. and i normally don't go for soft massages. and then his fingers suddenly got brave and explored places and things that wholesome massages don't.

i opened my eyes in shock and pleasure.

his fingers just felt so good. and soon, his pants were undone, his cock was out, and he was jacking me off.

i came, i saw, i conquered.

til we meet again

a few days ago, i was with rm, introduced by a mutual friend.

rm is younger than me, shorter than me, and very muscular. in fact, he had competed in a recent bodybuilding contest, though he didn't win. it was a shame, though it was pretty obvious to tell that his chances were slim right from the start, considering the bulk of the contestants were in his competitive (short) category. at 5'5 he did cut an impressive figure, with his very broad shoulders and heavily muscled torso that slowly tapered down to his taut six-packed stomach and splayed down to his heavy thighs and legs.

he wanted to meet at a motel, so we did. i fulfilled part of my muscle fantasy. as he headed to shower up, i washed him down. water and soap made our skin deliciously slippery. i stood behind him as we lathered, marveling at the size and hardness of his body. he leaned back against me, my hard cock nestling between the cheeks of his bubble butt.

and so the dance began. it was not tango, it was not waltz, it wasn't even a frenetic dance one would dance with gusto.

it was more like a shuffling of the feet to an awkward beat that soon ended on a low note.

so there we were, in bed. i, on top of his warm body - as he hugged me, suddenly had a thought. this was the second time we had been together, and the second time that it was unexciting. he didn't do much, the sex was not really passionate, nor was there even a foreplay. it was, as samantha jones would term it, a deal-breaker. and then and there i decided, it was over.

though he was hot, he was not mt.

i still crave for mt.

so it was over for rm.

scandal galore

i really don't understand what the big hoot is about the belo-kho-halili scandal.

i mean, just the conglomeration of their last names alone makes me giggle.

say it again. belokhohalili. makes me think of halitosis.

so they had sex.

so they made a sex tape.

so it was released.

in hollywood, it's how one becomes known. paris hilton wouldn't be paris if her sexual romp with the hung rick salomon didn't "accidentally" leak out.

who else? pamela anderson and tommy lee. colin farrell. kim kardashian. though there were those others who released their sex tapes, didn't take, and their careers became major flops, pardon the pun. it's how people fuel their careers, to become bigger celebrities than they are.

we can't deny it. it's done its purpose. the whole country is in uproar over it. also, please note the correct usage of "it's" and "its" in the same sentence.

i've seen the hayden videos. nothing groundbreaking. just a hot guy having sex with some girl. if they were doing the dirty sanchez, now that would be something else.

radio gaga

i'm still behind on catching up on my sleep. yes, i'm one of those people who count sleep debt.

i should have known that a night out with bubz meant the following: coffee, massage, and then downing bottles of beer at the bar.

not that there's anything wrong with it. well, maybe a little. if i am going to age, i want to age well. and bubz's routine is not the way to do it. lol.

well, massage is one way. coffee is okay too. the bar scene can be okay. but not all mixed up in one night.

a few nights ago, bubz laid it out for us. by us, i meant bernz and me. it was to be in the following order: coffee, then massage, then the bars.

i was slightly disappointed that the spa we were going to was the birdland. it was not a spa that i was expecting to have a relaxing wholesome massage. and i was not wrong. the therapist assigned to me was a hustler. quick to cut to the chase, he almost immediately massaged my balls, then my cock, and asked if i wanted a happy ending.

no, i said firmly. i'm not here for that, i wanted to add, and your fingernails are too long and remind me of a woman's hands. but i kept quiet.

i glanced at the time. he spent less than 40 minutes 'massaging' me. but what did i expect at this place? i would've probably changed my mind if the therapist was hot. but he wasn't.

and he kept disturbing my nap by tweaking my nipples. it was annoying. but i slept for a bit anyway. in short, the massage i got was terrible.

good thing that i was able to accumulate points that it turned out free.

bernz joined me afterwards, all quiet and contemplative. god knows what went on his mind. bubz took longer. i could only guess what went on inside, as he was the first to get in his cubicle yet the last to come out.

let's go for a nightcap, bubz said.
yeah right, nightcap, i thought while rolling my eyes. i knew what it meant. it meant going to the bar and drinking beer and cruising. ugh.

so there we were, bubz, bernz, and me at the bar. having that 'nightcap', according to bubz. i now have very low tolerance for alcohol, unlike when i was in my teens. and soon i was flushed. maybe it was the redness of my face that caught the attention of several people. but let's be clear. i wasn't there to pick up guys. i was there out of respect to bubz, who does this ritual each and every time we go out. it never changes. and i was insane to think it would.

one guy was bolder than the other 3, and came over. you're cute, he said, and would it be okay if he went home with me. and mind you, he wasn't fugly.

but i was not in the mood for one night stands, so i just smiled back at him and said, maybe another time.

he smiled, and leaned in. when you go home, let me know, because i want to make sure you get home safely, he said.

sure, i said. and i turned around to face my inquisitors.

why'd you let him go? bubz wailed as not-fugly guy left.
i'm not here to pick up guys for one night stands, i retorted.
who said it was? it could be the start of something beautiful, bubz insisted with a vehement shake of his head.
bernz merely smiled inscrutably.
bubz rolled his eyes.
hurry up and finish those bottles and let's get out of here, i shot back at bubz.
not before you do something with not-fugly guy, bubz glared.
fine, i'll kiss him when we leave, i said, now hurry up!

and so i did kiss not-fugly guy when we left fifteen minutes later, but not before he asked for my number. i had the feeling i gave him the wrong number. i was sleepy and slightly intoxicated. i think i scared him off by kissing him impulsively. lol.

bernz insisted i was drunk. i like to say i was tipsy. bubz went off to go to another bar, being the social bar-fly that he is. as we stood in the taxi lane, i noticed 2 guys looking at bernz and me. one was sort of cute, with a ponytail. he came over, but i looked away, so he ended up talking to bernz. turns out, they were asking where a club called the host 78 was.

i've heard it was nearby but i've never been. a third guy overheard them, and joined the other 2. bernz gave instructions, and they went off and got into a taxi. being tipsy, i called bubz immediately.

i remember you wanted to go to the host and review it, i said.
yes i did, he replied.
well, it's nearby, so you wanna go?
wait for me.

so there we were, inside the place. turns out to be one of those macho dancing clubs, but without dicks showing, hard or otherwise. and the men? not really my type. a little too short, a little too trendy, and not muscular at all. the guys that had asked for directions turned out to be macho dancers called in to audition, and were done auditioning by the time we arrived.

some queens were there, obviously enjoying the show, with a few of the dancers at their table. the curvaceous floor manager sashayed over in a scandalously scarlet dress.

which ones do you fancy? she intoned in a deep voice to bubz.
bubz smiled and shook his head.
just sit there and i'll have them all go to the stage and you can pick from there, she commanded.

there were none that we fancied.

and the whole place was too... ho-hum. it wasn't exciting. it wasn't even hip. i think i saw old-fashioned ruffled curtains. a few framed artwork hung on the rough cement wall. i guess they were not allowed to paint over the wall. one of the wall hangings was a framed needlepoint of a ballerina. there was also a framed poster of mickey mouse. maybe they're some sort of metaphor to the penis? i didn't get it though.

if it were up to me, i'd have painted the whole walls black (or scarlet red), put in mirrored walls onstage, get some metallic accents and phallic decor. and no blacklights at all. get hot wait staff. and more diverse dancers. the beer was expensive. san mig light at 85?

someone should finally open a dance club here that has hot men in their underwear dancing in cages, i thought for the millionth. but would the concept be too western for us pinoys?

we stayed at the place for 30 minutes and then we left to go home.

having stumbled home at 3 in the morning, i made a half-assed attempt at sleeping soundly. but i failed and merely closed my eyes, drifting in and out of consciousness. and all too soon, i woke up at 6, with still a buzz on and my mouth tasting like a rat died inside.

all in all, the whole affair left me a little hung over, a little exhausted, and a little ambiguous.

two of a kind

my best friend was doing the 16k run when she spotted a guy at a corner bar near sunflower city. she heard someone call her by her full name, and when she turned, she saw me. so she waved and smiled, and i smiled back.

this was according to her when she called me to confirm.

apparently, i have a doppelganger.

i think this is the first time a close friend has told me about my 'twin'. although i have heard from various people that they have already met me somewhere, i usually do not recall meeting them until that time. i've always been in the impression that i have one of those common faces, so people tend to believe we've met before when we haven't.

i would like to meet this guy. to see how alike, or not, we are. if it weren't for my best friend being so staunchly sure that he did look like me, i wouldn't have been curious.

but according to her, we do look alike. same build, same shaved head, same skin color, same thick eyebrows.

maybe one of these days we would meet.

that should be interesting, to say the least.

but wait. isn't meeting a doppelganger risky?

the way

one of my close friend's sister recently got married.
i'm no fan of weddings, specially when i know the crowd it brings.

nothing really wrong with the people, it's just that being a gay fil-chi is a bit harder in cebu's chinese society, where everybody knows everybody.

and being gay used to be such a big scandalous taboo for most traditional families.

thank god mine isn't that close-minded. not anymore.
i know of several gay fil-chi guys who were forced to get married by their family.
revisiting the traditional fil-chi world was much needed though.
i sat with some friends and began catching up.

it made me remember my high school days (and nights).
our clique at high school was a little strange for many, but it made sense to us.

there was the geek, the socialite, the bugoy, the couple, the jock, the bitch, the crush, the brat, and more.
it was so varied, and we all were in different classrooms.

the teachers all tried to separate us each year, but we still stuck through all four years - and even until now.

anyway, our group at the wedding was now a little incestuous.
bb, one of my high school crushes, was now married.
his wife is the sister-in-law of another mutual close friend, who happens to be a younger sister of my sister's best friend.
bb was a part of a group of rich bugoys, two of which were brothers, who were my crushes too.
one of the brothers is married to another friend's ex.
yes, incestuous.

come to think of it, most of my crushes were the bugoys, and i used to hang with them too.
it was pretty cool. they were all these straight guys who would talk about who had nailed which girl.
they were the ones who gave me my first porn, my first drink, and my first wet dream.

and then there was that one guy, gary.
he wasn't my type at all, even though he was big and bearish. but boy, did he pamper me.
i like to think he secretly liked me.
i mean, he used to ask me if he could drive me home after going out.
and he would hold my hand while talking to me and making me lean my back against him.
on second thought, i think he did like me.

i know this happens in an all-boys' school, but it's extremely rare in a co-ed high school.
anyway, graduation came and i left high school a virgin in every sense of the word.
i guess it's just one of those phases where people experiment.

the clapping of the parishioners brought me back to the present.
i went to kiss the bride happiness, and i went out to find bb in his new luxury pick-up.

"hey trey, you want me to drop you off at your place after i bring the girls home?"
"nah, it's okay. my place is just a five-minute walk away."
"are you sure?"
"yep!"
i grinned and left.

spiderwebs

i recently chatted with lp, my friend and ex-officemate.
she had been getting depressed lately, mainly because of her ex.

it's the usual story.

girl (that's her) meets bum (that's him).
girl improves bum's self-esteem, career, and life.
bum becomes boy.
boy professes love to the girl.
girl moves in with boy despite everyone's misgivings.
before they know it, it's been 6 years.
boy's promising career brings him to manila.
girl stays in cebu.
boy meets another girl (let's call her "bitch").
bitch tells boy she's pregnant.
boy breaks up with girl.
girl is devastated.
boy supports bitch all throughout pregnancy and birth.
girl is still hung up on boy.
boy wants girl back.
bitch wants them apart.

lp confided that she had been drinking to numb her pain.
i didn't know what to tell her.
we both know alcoholism isn't the answer.
but it's her temporary solution.
i get her.

i reminded her that it's still her who's going to end up the loser if she keeps this up.
that she's going to end up a wreck if this continues.
that she better move on.
that she's better off without him.
she retorted, "you don't know what it's like."

that stopped me short.

true.
i don't know what it's like to fall deeply in love.
i don't know what it's like to commit your soul to someone else.
i don't know what it's like to be betrayed like that.

what i do know is that i can just be there to listen if she needs me.

and sometimes, it's all we need.

i wouldn't normally do this kind of thing

this is b's last night during his cebu vacation.

the past days have been filled with many events.

meeting for the first time. hey, he looks just like in the pictures, ma! lol

hanging out with familiar and new friends - and getting a drunken bite mark in the process.

indulging in tranquil and crazy spa experiences.

drinking beer like water. and i don't really like beer. give me vodka anytime!

dancing til dawn.

eating french fries at five in the morning.

and facing the mirror today, i realized one thing: this is how i would look twenty years later.

but the fact is, i wouldn't do that for just anyone.

hope you had a wonderful time, b.

please don't stop the music

"he wants to do a threesome with you both."

macky the messenger slurred out the words to me and b.

the words, like the cold air outside, hit me.

i grinned.

three hours earlier:

it was b's second vacation night.

bubz, b, and i were at the bar.

normally restrained, i had become b's accomplice on the dancefloor.

writhing, grinding, pulsating to the thumpa-thumpa.

and that's how we had gotten the attention of a few guys.

our twosome became three, four, five.

it was just a little too crowded for my taste, so i moved to the side to watch the show.

b was quite the belle of the ball.

belts coming undone, jeans getting unzipped, hands exploring inside, lips touching skin.

the girl beside me craned her neck to look at what was going on.

bubz and i looked at b in the middle of it all and we grinned.

"to celibacy!"

b finally came up for air, took a look around, and decided it was time to leave his playground.

that's when macky the messenger caught up with us and gave us the message.

"he" was the guy b had been dancing with.

i held macky by the shoulders and looked at him in the eyes.

"tell him i'm flattered, but not tonight."

macky turned to b. i didn't hear b's reply, but i could guess as much as macky stormed off.

and that's how bubz, b, and i left doce.

disconnected child

it's been 3 days now.
i've managed the addiction so far.

the cravings, the restlessness, the stress.
i know i can do it. but i don't want to.

it occupies my mind.
i need to have it.

i terminated the internet subscription.

and now i blog off-line.

this is what probably caused the big zit on my cheek.

let me get this straight

yes, i'm also turned on by straight porn.

but i think it has to do more with the guy than the girl.
hell.
it has to do with the guy than the girl.

the guy is julian, and the girl is barbie dahl.
yes, barbie dahl.
and i have the video.

this does not make me bisexual though.

i'd probably get grossed out if a girl starts doing her nasty stuff on me.
i've tried groping a girl. well, at least, i think she was.
nada.
didn't get hard.
and didn't find it exciting at all.
i just kept thinking, what's all the fuss about girlie parts?
while she was moaning and writhing on my lap.

but i do want to watch a guy and girl fuck in front of me.
as well as have two guys fuck in front of me.
just to satisfy my voyeuristic side.

volunteers anyone?

even dykes love gay male porn!

i've known about straight women liking gay male porn for a while.

but even lesbians too!?
what the fuck?

i should ask my lesbian friend what she thinks of gay male porn.

to read more about this fascinating phenomenon, click here.

dicks rule!

am i?

Trey, you're the Sweet Side Of Sexy

You don't make a big deal about your sexuality but you're also not purposely hiding it either — two traits that naturally draw people to you.

You've got an understated zest for life and all its pleasures and tackle each day with spirit. As a teenager, were you maybe a little on the quiet side?

We wouldn't be surprised, but underneath your quiet exterior you have an undeniable sweetness that attracts people who see that special something and want to see a little more.

Is it the way you dress? Your laugh? The way you speak up at just the right time during a meeting?

Those who know you intimately can't wait to uncover more. Because underneath that innocent smile you've probably got a few little secrets.

But you'll never tell. Or will you?

http://web.tickle.com/jumpto?test=sexy2ogt&c=50652

bottoms up

since i usually take challenges head on, i revisited serkan.

lying on his bed, a little sleepy, a little bored, and a little frisky.

and this time, the pain was minimal.

i managed to enjoy it.

i still smell of him.

gotta shower.

serkan: re-deflowering trey

it was dusk.
he was waiting for me, just like he said.
he motioned for me to follow him.
and through a labyrinthine route we took.

he led me into his den.
it was humid.
i was sleepy, a little feverish.
i slept a little, curled up beside him on his bed.

i woke up later with a leg wrapped around me and my hand trapped under him.

he teased me with his heavy leg, hairy and thick.
i tried to release my hand, but it only served to make him hard.
he smelled of overnight perfume, stale cigarette smoke, and light sweat.

we started going at it like a couple of teenage boys after a liquor-filled party.
clothes came off - skin touched skin - and his hairy, beefy body inflamed my senses.
he placed me on top of him as his stubble grazed my nape while i licked his ear.

his finger slowly crept into my crevice while he pushed me down to his engorged cock.
it was huge, thick, big, and hard.
so thick, my fingers couldn't meet.
so big i nearly choked from sucking it.
and he was aggressive.

"shhh, we can't make any noise. the walls are thin."

he suddenly turned me over to my side.

"let me fuck you."
"no, wait, i don't do that."
"please, i'll be gentle."
"i'm not letting anything that big get inside me."
"come on, just the head please?"

i didn't have much choice as he grabbed my hands and inserted his monster meat in me.
i felt as if my whole being was torn in two.
he muffled my cries as he slowly pushed the big, bloated head in.
we were sweating bullets by this time.

he moaned as the head popped in.
and he started his dance, moving and writhing and pulling me with him into his sensual rhythm.
on our side, with me on top, him on top, and me on all fours.
pushing, shoving, trying to get it in.
it was too painful.
only the head ever got in.

i must've lost track of time.
it's almost 45 minutes.
he's about to come.
but for the life of me, i couldn't get hard.
the pain obliterated the pleasure.
i bit the pillow to keep from screaming.

and then he came, splashing all over me.
the slickness of our sweat mixed with his expelled seed.

my hands shook as i wiped myself dry.

and cursed myself for allowing my beloved cherry to get popped again after being intact for more than 10 years.

kisses, carresses, and loneliness

i miss kissing.
just kissing. nothing sexual. just plain old kissing.
the sensations, the tastes, the smells.

it's nice to cuddle.
it's nice to be touched.
nothing sexual. but affection from the other person is enough.

i'm just emotionally low today.
just not my best day.

i just want to curl up in bed and sleep.

a different sunday

i woke up very early today.
i haven't had much sleep, yet i don't feel tired.
strange.

it must be from that fantastic massage i had last night.

definitely worth the trip.

i must go back soon.

*smile*

it's mother's day.
my mom passed away 11 years ago.

we were not very close, she and i.
it was a very complicated relationship.
although, i must admit, i inherited many of her characteristics - both good and bad.

i received a message from captain.
his mother has been admitted to the hospital.
again.

in a decidedly uncharacteristic act, i told him i would light a candle for his mom's health.
and even stranger, i did.
at cebu cathedral.
along with a candlelit prayer for my mom as well.

am i liking him too much?
will i end up getting hurt?
most likely yes to both.

but life's too short to be restrained.

anticipation

i can't wait to start working out again.

it has been more than a year since i've stopped going to the gym.

and now, i will be exercising again!

as soon as slimmer's sm opens.

i am grinning.

i am so excited!

maybe i will finally achieve that body i've been dreaming of for so long.

plus, having captain assist my supplement selection is a big factor.
he'll be instrumental in achieving my ideal body type.
though i'm a bit toned by a bit of yoga, nothing beats pumping iron!

loving from afar

tony just left to work in dubai, leaving behind his lover.

i can only imagine the feelings those two must have had during the whole time.

i asked him a week ago if they would still be together after he left.

he just shook his head and said he didn't know. aw.

relationships can be complex. and they can also be simple.

except that i'm not the best person to answer that. hehe!

it reminded me, strangely, of my newest favorite series pushing daisies.

if you were granted a relationship full of everything you hoped for with the person you've always dreamed of - except that you will rarely touch (or see) each other (if at all) - would you go for it?

it's a question that boggles the mind.

on to lighter things. i've been battling flu, coughs, and cold for 3 days now. i hate it.

it didn't get better that i had to be at a welcome-to-cebu dinner for a dear friend and a despedida after for tony going on until 3 in the morning. yes, i am to blame for that. but it's not often that it happens.

and so i suffer the consequences.

this is one of those days i wish i had that someone special to keep me company in bed.

oh captain, wherefore art thou?

hahaha...

damn you

i met mt for the second time last night.

updated each other for a minute.

then our clothes were off.

he was still beautifully rock hard. large muscles in all the right places.

he had shaved for a contest.

too bad he also shaved his face. i love his stubbly chin grazing all over me.

apparently, his girlfriend almost caught him on his way over.
his new girlfriend.
awww.
how sweet of her to be so vigilant.

drove me crazy with his tongue and hands.
arms and legs tangled in a warm heap.
licking, rubbing, and slippery.
rubbing, squeezing, spanking.
he had to put something in my mouth to silence my moans and groans.
*grin*

at least he didn't try to put it inside.
i don't think i could handle anything that big.
seriously. it's been so long ago since i've done that.

then a good long shower together after.
kneading, kissing, and kneeling.
dried each other carefully.

and what is it about me that encourages people to lift me up?

i have been lifted up like a blushing bride within the week by two guys already.
flattering, i guess.

maybe because it's almost june.

haha!

and minus points on mt for branding me.
forcibly and against my will.
kind of sexy and kinky.
but a little sophomoric.
sigh.

why do testosterone-driven aggressive guys have to do that?

at least the marks are not visible while clothed.