two girls, a guy, and a coffee shop

i happened to meet two girl friends within 24 hours.

one was a friend from high school who married an ex-officemate of mine, without me knowing about it until a chance conversation. she was conditioned to see life negatively, and it just pains me to see her so down on herself.

we happened to talk about relationships, and she proposed that perhaps i was commitment phobic.

and perhaps it is true. i am afraid of falling.

i told this to my bestest friend. we had a grand old time catching up, dissecting ourselves and dreaming of travails and travels.

ah. lovely walks in paris, lunch in greece, and tea in london.

then our phones rang and we got back to our real world.

wandering thoughts

pregnant women freak me out. i always think they're about to give birth in front me, and i have to help them give birth.

the fact that i actually know the words to some sappy tagalog love songs (bakit nga ba mahal kita, kahit di pinapansin ang damdamin ko, di mo man ako mahal, eto parin ako nagmamahal nang tapat sa yo?) has me totally rolling on the floor laughing...

irritations:

women with their long hair free who sit beside me in jeepneys or stand near me, tossing their stiff rebonded manes like they're starring in shampoo commercials. in reality, they look more like insecure aswangs in the daylight. i wish i always brought a pair of scissors with me. all the time.

fat women who think they're not fat and squeeze in with you. don't you find that a little claustrophobic?

or trannies who brush up against you. it's not that i don't like trannies. i just don't like people i'm not attracted to, to be touching me. i end up dusting myself involuntarily. it's a mental thing. i might need a shrink.

copycats. from the most obvious pinoy movies/telenovelas (think: desperadas) to the remakers of hit sappy love songs (think: crazy for you/especially for you/love moves in mysterious ways). though i get it. remakes can be hot. just don't overdo it. fyi... loving darren haye's cover of madonna's dress you up in my love.

salespeople who tell me this celebrity wears this item and uses this product. say those magic words, and you'll have lost me. good bye.

women who think they deserve special service just because they exist as women. listen. you wanted equal rights. you can't have it both ways. you can't wear pants and expect people to treat you as if you were wearing gowns. of course, i can be a gentleman to ladies i like. just not to delusional ragdolls with diva attitudes. i can be one too, you know. (LOL)

i just thought of this. late, flaky, disrespectful narcissists.

disappointments:

the series moonlight. i hate it. the story is so scattered, the dialogue is so predictable, and the characters are so boring. i sooo regret buying it.

inspirations:

the beach. forests. animals. nature.

simplicity. ostentatiousness. luxury. opposites. yin and yang.

color. texture. smell. taste. music.

friends. creativity. humor. optimism.

fruits.

the occult. magic. spirituality.

food. food shows.

good furniture. design shows. appliances.

love/hate them:

clothing trends. however baduy they can be. some can be darling (skinny jeans). some are just plain crazy (bomber jackets in the philippines?).

fried food. chicken. ngohiong. bulaklak.

gadgets. i love the mac air. though sometimes i wish i weren't so techy. it can be hard and expensive to keep up.

nail biting - well, not really

i finished a draft of the story. yes! draft, because i constantly add, delete, and change the words.

i have decided to send the draft to several people in the hopes that they can provide valuable insights and critiques. i've already made up my mind that my writing is a little too flowery and too melodramatic. i guess i'll have to wait if others think so too. (lol)

i've already one big critique. tony from guam, who said that the names are too western. and asked if there would be any pinoys. yes. i'm going to make it a benetton world. doncha worry your pretty lil head about it.

b mentioned that it might be too graphic. it's meant to be. it's for adults. it's got words like cock, fuck, shit, and all the cusses we're probably used to. and of course, the sex is going to be there most of the time. it's going to cause discomfort to many, and maybe pleasure to some.

b's going to make his work a bit more family-friendly. i envy him. and i think his work's going to be funny too.

i've already mentioned how i am concerned that my work might be accused as plagiarized work, or become a plagiarized work. so for now, i don't think i'll be posting anything other than the occasional mention of ideas or names. besides, i don't think it would get that big an audience. and there must be dozens of other writers who are more talented than me. i'd just like to err on the side of caution.

i've already been inspired by several experiences, which i've yet to put down. i've discussed them with some people and so far they've found it amusing. which is what i need, since humor is not really injected too much (if at all) in what i've finished so far.

one problem i'm struggling with is how to get the lead out of the country and into the city. the transition story. that'll have to wait for inspiration to strike. then to the city he cometh!

the good thing about writing this story is that i'm more conscious of words. and how to arrange them as best as i can. i've even begun to put apostrophes (which i spell-checked and came out correct) in my sentences. now if only i'm not lazy enough to do upper cases in proper nouns and at the beginning of sentences.

yes. i was a spelling bee wannabe.

this story (and its consquent success, or most likely, the lack of it) is probably a dream, maybe a pipe dream. but at least i've done something about it. at least i won't sing the coulda-woulda-shoulda song.

yes, you!

i've always been in the belief that people usually show themselves not in their words, but by their actions. or lack of it.

commitment, or lack of it. if you can commit to something small, you can probably commit to the important stuff.

imagine this: you tell someone you'll meet them at so-and-so at this time, and you don't do it.

then, failing to realize that you were past the designated time, you send a reply to a barrage of where-are-you's.

you reply with "i'm watching excorcist on dvd, i'm not dressed yet."

when the other party is intentionally ignores you after you show up almost two hours later, you send your arsenal of calls and text messages. both styles ignored.

"where are you?" "sorry na." and you send it repeatedly, hoping to force that person to realize that you were being gracious by apologizing and forcing him to accept your "cute" way of doing so.

you write it, hoping that he thinks it's sincere.

you write it this way, sending him the subconscious message that everything was his fault, and you are the innocent victim.

what does it say about you? if you failed to respect a person's time and effort, wouldn't that make you disrespectful?

and you wonder why people don't really care for you much, if at all.

your stock has plummeted so much, it has to be mined. it barely made the stock market in the first place.

and yet, you still wonder why people avoid you.

let the madness begin!

i've started on something i've always wanted to do: write a story.

since the sixth grade, i've harbored a secret wish to write a book. in my mind, the story would blur the lines between reality and fantasy, thrown in with a good dose of my wishful desires, a dash of humor, and a wee bit of angst. some characters would be based on real life, and some would be fictional.

and of course, the main character would be based on me. it's so obviously a self-promoting story. (lol)

that wish laid dormant for years. until an exchange of ym's with b, who i discovered, also shared the same passion for fantasy works and graphic novels. the conversation triggered the longing, and we both agreed to share our ongoing works with each other via blogs.

that was about two weeks ago. from a simple story, it has evolved, in my mind, to be a complex one. i've already made up my mind who the character will look like, what he will experience, and all that. except it's come out longer than i expected.

the character is the result of a union between mortal and demon centuries ago, who has abilities he has yet to waken and understand. he is seemingly immortal, and has to find out and deal with his current situation.

i've already begun a draft of the first few chapters. i've also included a creation angle as an afterthought. hm. the wordings are a little dry. i guess i should try to use a few big words, like undulate (used) and enunciate (not yet, but will it ever be?).

i don't even have a good character name! i know it should be a simple name, yet strong and classic. i've decided on the name chase. pryce is a good contender.

i've also made some research on various studies on demonology and myths, which would be loosely used as basis for characters, settings, and beliefs.

i did post the creation story on multiply, though.

b's plan would be to form a group who would critique each other's works and provide assistance and guidance. i'm a little skeptic. but whatever. as long as it isn't accused as a plagiarized story, and won't be plagiarized, i'll be happy.