finally

after months of absence, all self-imposed, i have decided to start writing again.

i've been in so many ups and downs. mostly downs, but i've managed to stay up.

one thing that has helped me maintain my faith is, let's just call him mr king.

mr king and i began exchanging messages via email, then via ym, then via sms, until we met up. and we did not meet up for sex, or for friendship, but for vitamins. lol! yes, vitamins. sad, isn't it?

from the moment i saw him, i had a huge crush already. the feelings i had were unrequited, however, and i accepted this fact without ill will. though it did make me feel a little bit unwanted though. lol!

recently, on one of my rare reorders, we chanced to talk more and at length, as it happened that both of us were in no hurry to leave the meeting place. and i learned many things about him, and we shared so many views and preferences, which led me to like him even more. except that i had to stop myself from doing so.

then, it so happened that we spoke about fantasies we had sexually. and it turns out that we have similar tastes in terms of fantasy and fetish preferences. i liked this, he liked it too. i like this done to me, he liked to do that too. i was the car, and he was the driver. i was excited, he got excited. and then i remembered something that stopped me in my tracks.

i would forever remain a friend to him, yet i know that so few men like him exist.

it was all i could do not to sigh out loud. but i did tell him that there should be a clone of him made just for me, without the gene that would make him think of me only as a friend. lol! he laughed, and again brushed it aside. ouch!

the hours whizzed by, and soon we had to part. i left him, and i left the lighted area and walked into the wet and dark streets that sadly comforted and gently welcomed me.